This Was Never The Plan: Walking with God Through the Heartache of Divorce
Book Description:
Divorce brings a storm of emotions—grief, anger, confusion and shame. Yet while the ache lingers, life goes on.
Vaneetha Risner has walked through this pain. In this hopeful and honest book, she draws from Scripture and her own story to offer compassionate wisdom on...
- Finding emotional clarity and letting go of shame
- Trusting God in the uncertainties ahead
- Healing relationally, resisting bitterness and finding community
- Nurturing hope for the future
She also shares about navigating single parenting, church, dating and the work of rebuilding.
Whether you are in the early stages of divorce or beginning to restore your life, this book points to Christ’s faithful presence every step of the way. Helpful “check-ins” throughout invite you to pause, reflect and take hold of God again and again.
Includes appendices to guide friends and church leaders in supporting you.
Contents
Foreword by Paul David Tripp
- The Undoing
- Tears, Fears, and the Tenderness of God
- Letting Go Without Giving In
- The Lies We Believe and the Grace That We Need
- Reassessing, Rebuilding, and Rekindling Joy
- Parenting on Empty
- The Church, the Crowd, and the Friends Who Stayed
- Dating and the R Word
- Hope on the Horizon
Questions for Personal Reflection or Discussion
Appendix: How to Show Up When a Friend's Marriage Ends
Appendix: Some Helpful Forms for Communicating with Friends and Church
Appendix: Helpful Resources on What the Bible Teaches
Author:
Vaneetha Rendall Risner is the author of several books, including Watching for the Morning: 90 Devotionals for When Hope Is Hard to Find. She and her husband, Joel, live in Raleigh, where she shares on her website about Christ's unwavering presence in suffering.
Endorsements:
“With appropriate honesty and God-given grace, Vaneetha Risner shares the heartbreak of divorce and the deeper hope that can be found in Christ. This Was Never the Plan offers comfort that will help the wounded and truth that will inform the perplexed. Through it, she guides hurting believers to believe in God’s purpose and rest in his love.”
—Tim Challies, Author, Seasons of Sorrow
Vaneetha takes on a sensitive, deeply personal, potentially embarrassing reality with clarity and honesty yet without rancor or malice. As someone who has been through a divorce in similar circumstances to hers, I can attest to the painful yet healing accuracy of her wisdom in these pages. And I can attest to the unfailing hope she points the reader to in Christ, without flippancy or pat answers. Prior to this book, I knew of no books on divorce I would actually be willing to hand to a person navigating that devastating reality. Now I have one, and I am grateful for it!
—Barnabas Piper, Author and Podcaster
No one begins a marriage saying, ‘I sure hope I’ll get to walk through a divorce,’ and yet so many of us end up facing the realities of shattered dreams and broken promises. Once again, my friend Vaneetha Risner has parlayed her suffering into deep understanding, scriptural fidelity, and gracious blessing. I strongly recommend this resource, for those who are facing divorce and also for those who are seeking to help.
—Elyse Fitzpatrick, Author and Speaker
Our God hates divorce. So do his people. We grieve the sin and profound hurt that lead to and come from divorces. As Jesus says, it was not this way from the beginning. Yet mourn them as we do, they happen, and so tragically often in our day, and many of Christ’s people are left aching and searching for Christian counsel in their devastation. Vaneetha has not only walked with faith through this devastation but has been courageous enough to answer the call to help other Christians who are hurting. This book is no celebration of divorce but an offer of real, solid Christian hope in the midst of one of life’s greatest anguishes. I pray this book will help you move forward in Jesus and draw closer to him in your pain.”
—David Mathis, Executive Editor at desiringGod.org and author of Habits of Grace
I wish I had had this book when I was first facing divorce. Vaneetha offers essential wisdom for anyone facing divorce, and her words are helpful for those of us on the other side of it as well. God is kind, and his words are trustworthy. Vaneetha reminds us, in a voice we can hear, of the value of trusting Jesus despite circumstances that seem to knock us off our foundation. I pray this book is shared far and wide.
—Wendy Alsup, Author, Companions in Suffering and Is the Bible Good for Women?
Biblically rich, wonderfully practical, and searingly honest, this is a book we so badly need. Through the measured use of her own experience, Vaneetha Risner provides a first-hand account of the struggles Christians face when their lives are upended by divorce. Where this book really excels, however, is in its description of the many ways Christ meets us in such struggles. This isn’t just a book for those who have experienced divorce; it needs to be read by their friends and by the pastors of their churches.
--Steve Midgley, Executive Director, Biblical Counselling UK; Author, Understanding Trauma
Additional Information:
Number of Pages: 191
Cover: Softcover
Publisher: The Good Book Company
Publication Date: 2026